in repair

Too many shadows in my room
Too many hours in this midnight
Too many corners in my mind
So much to do to set my heart right
Oh it's taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready
Oh but if i take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unsteady
I am in repair


i.am.so.tired.of.this.all.already.

you know what the stupidest part is? is that i am still hanging on. that i am refusing to let myself be overwhelmed by this, refusing to let myself revert to that old self who is kept in a bubble, refusing to let myself go into the state where i dont care means i fucking dont and wont give a shit anymore. this is what is killing me, is that as i am refusing for all these to happen, i can feel my heart die away, a little by a little; i can feel myself die away a little.

this is so not supposed to be.


你知不知道，因为你，我有多痛苦？哈哈。你当然不知道。你怎能会知道？哈哈。可能就是我太傻了，以为自己做得到。可能我做得到，可能我做不到，我也不知道，看我几时跨了，那就有答案了。